Flowers and Friends...

I was in bed the other night and I began thinking about friendship in botanical terms. It occurred to me that some are like perennials and some are more like annuals. For those not well acquainted with gardening terminology, an annual is a plant that blooms once a year and a perennial is one that lasts for many years. There are those friends that remain a constant and do not fade with the passage of time. They are rare and will withstand the high's and lows that life brings, including arguments and changes in one's persona. It is the perennial that I favor and hope for in all friendships, but I realized with my head on my pillow that not all individuals are meant to be a perennial. This thought disturbed me.

Why do some friends stand the test of time and others do not? Is it the fact that I change with time and thus my standards and expectations change too? Perhaps the friend changes? There is of course a third possibility-the friend is constantly growing and so am I and sometimes the growth is not in the same direction. Hmmm...this seems like a plausible concept. I can still remember the wonderful feeling of excitement I would get when starting my summer day at age 13 as I went to my "best friend's" house to lay out on her roof with baby oil and listen to Nu Shooz on the rooftop as we discussed which boy was cute at school. It was a simple recipe and yet so fulfilling. Now it's complicated by busier lives and much less time.

It seems that we lost the need for the girl friends in our lives. Sure, we have playgroups and acquaintances, but the long-term friends move away or fade with time and one day we look up and notice their absence. Perhaps some of the perennials were just annuals and we didn't know it? Maybe some of the one's we think are annuals will become perennials with time. I hope so.