What Is Home?

"The other day I looked at Zoe and said, "what part of no don't you understand? The n or the o?" She turned her big blue eyes toward me and said "the o" without missing a beat. Eeks! It was hilarious, but also a clue as to what's to come and boy am I in trouble. Laugh. Both of my little angels are a constant fluctuation of complete joy and beauty, combined with a good helping of stubbornness and strong little independent spirits. I'm on a wild ride every day.

Life is good here and the newest thing is that we are putting our house up for sale. It's a whirlwind of cleaning, maintaining, and getting mentally ready for the impending roller coaster ride. I'm excited and scared at the same time. This is the home that we brought our baby London back to, and Zoe too. Yes, a home is what you make it and we are not captured here in drywall and flowers, but it is still sentimental. There are memories here in every corner that I can see when I walk around.

However, I look at my kitchen table that cannot be used to eat at because it has become a giant desk and I think how lovely it would be to decorate it with pretty linens and eat at it like civilized people instead of the kids table which I am a bit large for. We seriously need some more space, not tons, just a little more. Common sense tells me that we would be happy together in an igloo because it's the four of us, and Roxy, that make home.

Sometimes I struggle with anxiety and it can be pretty scary, but somehow it was replaced with a sense of purpose and a voice in my head (no jokes please) that is telling me that everything will be alright and to go forward in faith. I know from experience to listen to that voice, it's the one that shows me where to go when I don't know the way and reminds me that everything is possible when I listen to God's plan and not just my own. The other day I imagined what it must be like for those families that suddenly uproot and go to a different country to do missions work. That's a major departure from the comfort zone, but how exciting and fulfilling too. Right now, I'm just putting one foot in front of the other.