Practicing Peace

I was reading an article about women-mothers actually-in the Bible and this narrative briefly described the defining events and missteps of their lives. It was interesting to look at from this different perspective and it made me think about a few things. How would we be described now? What mothers are noteworthy in today's society and why? What are my priorities as a mom? Am I thinking beyond the daily routine and finding opportunities to go above and beyond for my daughter? Some of these are rhetorical questions but worthy of consideration.

Another thing that came to mind was how to maintain inner peace regardless of what is happening outside of me. I can say that I have learned to remain calm when removing my child from a situation where she is kicking and screaming and writhing in my arms because she wanted to take her shoes and socks off at the playground and run around barefoot. That was a true testament to my growth in the past year as a mom. I used to be terrified of that kind of stuff, now I smile and make eye contact with the people I pass as we're putting on our spectacle the whole way to the car. Luckily, this is a rare occurrence and most of the time London is peaceful.

In the beginning, I pretended. Having no clue how to process the situation in my head, I simply put on a calm face and acted as if I was fine when she would freak out over something. Secretly, I wondered if anyone knew that it was a facade, but after a while it didn't matter. Maybe the facade became a reality and I learned from practice to actually be calm just by acting that way. It's funny, all the psychology training in college and then in grad school has come in handy sometimes, but as many people know, it's hard to apply those principles to your own life. The subjectivity gets in the way. Oh well.

To answer part of my opener, I am a mom who is always there for her child and is taking each opportunity as it comes to set a good example. To me that means I show love as often as I can and forgive quickly and think before I act or react. There's a line in Ephesians 4:6 that I've always liked and it helps prop me up when the storms hit. "Don't worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand."

Nummies and Giraffies!

This last week flew by! I had a birthday, spent time with my cousin from Boston, and went to the Wild Animal Park. Did I mention that I ate brownies, cheesecake, and lots of graham crackers? Emmy (the cousin) and I were on a major sugar kick for five days. It kept us going so that we could entertain and contain London, my daughter who is fast approaching her second birthday and is a grazer like me.

It became a running joke to yell out "nummies, nummies, NUMMMIES"!!! This is London's initial manner of requesting food when she is hungry, which is quite often. I've tried spacing out the meals and the result is a miserable toddler with a grumpy mother who then seek out other people to frustrate in an effort to have some company in their misery pit. Regular doses of nummies is far more preferable and conducive to everyone's well-being, as well as the little one's metabolism.

The only downside is that I like what I feed her and I find myself stealing her food occasionally. Graham crackers are really good while driving. Juice boxes taste great when you get to steal the first two or three sips "so she doesn't spill it when she holds the box". The miniature blueberry frozen waffles are fabulous and we all know that a good pb and j never goes out style! Just call this the food edition of Tidbits.

It was awesome to go to the Wild Animal Park and see the giraffes running in a pack downhill. Lions were lounging on a grassy knoll eating some massive treats and looking adorable and fuzzy. The cheetahs bug me because they're never up-lazy bums! We fed ducks and I walked the whole way up and down the hills without hijacking any senior citizens for their motorized Rascal. That's it for now.

Temporary Clouds...

I think I have writer's block. There are numerous things swirling around in my overcrowded brain right now but none worthy enough to make it into type. Perhaps a brief update will have to suffice for now until this lull subsides.

Roxy, my darling American Bulldog, is recovering from her chronic ear infection which is awesome because it means the vet and I have finally discovered something that works. My ever-expanding belly is huge and even though I've done this once before, I find it impossible to believe that it can get any bigger. Yikes! London is addicted to our park outings and says "swing" and "slide" around 150 times a day.

It feels as if I've been in a funk for a few days and I found a verse that jumped out at me. "Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32)

This spoke to my grumpy mood and shifted the focus off of myself. It's so easy to get entangled in my own concerns and then my attitude can plummet. Teaching discipline to my daughter is a regular part of our day, but I need to remember to have self-discipline in terms of my own behavior and outlook. It does help knowing that she is watching and learning from me and I'm definitely motivated to be better for her sake.

Cha-ching!

So I've been consumed for the last hour by Craigslist and Chocolate Chip Bunny Graham Crackers! It all started with the idea of selling one of my baby toys that we never used, then it progressed to a pair of shoes that are in perfect condition with three inch heels collecting dust in my closet. Haven't exactly had anywhere to wear those at 7 months pregnant. That led to "oh yeah, I have leather pants to get rid of"! Scott was nice enough to help me take pictures on his prized I-Phone and upload them because I am technologically challenged, then I posted my treasures online. The waiting begins...will I get a bite in cyberspace?

Sitting here at 9pm eating handfuls of the bunny grahams in my flannel jammies and hammering out descriptions of my former party clothes was quite fun, especially as I envisioned the cool new baby stuff I could buy with the money. Occasionally I was distracted by the sudden thump and wave-like motion of my stomach as my upcoming daughter would move and thank me for the late night treats with a kick or punch.

By the way, I do plan to buy another pair of leather pants at some point because a mom does need to feel like a rock star when she goes out with her husband to an event. In the meantime, I'm cool with the wash-n-wear wardrobe.

Fishies and Meow-Meows, Please?

Today was a good day. We hung out with friends, went to the park, and saw "fishies and meow-meows" at Petco. The look of excitement on her face was so worth it. She smiled and said "happy" to me when I put her in the swing. London and I have been spending a lot of quality time together and I'm savoring our time alone before her sister arrives. I don't know what to expect, but my imagination runs wild at times and I envision the worst case scenario: a sink full of dishes, a crying newborn, a fussing toddler who doesn't understand why she can't be held too, a dog with a new ear infection that can't decide if she wants to be inside or outside, and myself in sweats that are covered in baby formula, applesauce and dog drool.

The upside to having this aforementioned picture in my mind is that if I imagine the worst and real life is better than that, I will be pleasantly surprised and grateful. Then I can ease into attaining a normal routine that isn't so extreme. Yes, there will be good days and bad ones, that's a given. It's just the unknown that makes my brain go wacky and picture these frazzled mom moments.

On the other hand, I have decided I don't care so much about furry floors, does it matter if I can tell whether they are dark wood maple or just white and dusty from Roxy's shedding? Dishes in the sink...I can learn to live with it for a while if it means my daughters are happy and laughing with me instead. Laundry piling up-no biggie because Scott rocks at helping with that kind of stuff. Cooking dinner is never my forte (unless you count breakfast for dinner or mac-n-cheese with turkey burgers a good meal) so cross that one off the list, he's better at it anyway and enjoys it. Lucky me. A new attitude about all that frees me up to try and have some fun with this new fork in the road that we're about to encounter. Isn't that the point? We should be having fun and enjoying our family. That's what I'm after.

Diapers, bottles and other nesting materials...

I've been suffering from a major case of nesting for the last few weeks. When it first began and I made a comment about cleaning, one of my friends asked if I was nesting. I wasn't sure at the time, lots of people re-arrange and wipe down their spice shelf and under the kitchen sink at 11pm at night, don't they? It progressed to every cupboard in the house and under the bathroom sinks, usually at a late hour. I even scrubbed the kitchen cabinet doors in my mismatched pajamas and leopard animal slippers on a stepladder! This is not normal behavior for me. I like a clean house, but Martha Stewart I am not. My husband laughed at me and shook his head when he saw my random housekeeping marathons.

The funny thing is that I did this before London was born, why didn't everything stay clean since then? Things were organized-what happened? (Rhetorical question, no responses to this one please.) So now the thing consuming my brain for the past few days is that I must go get new non-BPA baby bottles and newborn diapers THIS week and put them away so I can actually put them out of my mind. "But you have 10 weeks before the baby is due" some might say. Try telling that to my hormonally impacted brain suffering from cleaning-itis and organizational madness. The logic and the thought processes are just not going to come to an agreement on this one.

So tomorrow it's off to WalMart I go in search of my few remaining nesting materials. In the back of my brain I can feel the call of my own closet which is a disaster calling to me. "Come separate maternity clothes from non-maternity". Ughh, how fun. I'm ignoring that one for now. I'm curious what other mom's have experienced in this preparation frenzy? Please share.

Sparkle on a Gray Day

Today we decided to take the tree down and my husband and I are removing ornaments while our nearly two year old daughter is weaving in between our legs to gain access to ornaments. She is determined to get a hand on anything within reach, as they rightfully do at this age, and we are trying to remain patient while telling her no and re-directing her as much as possible. Ha! It only works for about ten seconds before she gets a grip on a butterfly with golden sparkle wings covered in glitter and runs off triumphantly with a look of glee on her little face.

I knew this simple task would take three times as long as it should, but am working on increasing my patience and not getting stressed over escapee butterflies or sticky fingers. Deep breaths and I remind myself that it's going to be more difficult in a few months, just wait until her little sister comes. I will "look back and think that I had it easy", but I'm finding that hard to believe.

Now fast forward a few minutes- we are in my bathroom. She sits down on the blue bathmat with her two broken butterflies and is fully engaged in removing a wing and replacing a wing intermittently. I am doing something when she looks up at me sweetly and says "sit". This simple request is suddenly clear, I am being asked to stop and just be with her in the moment on our cold bathroom floor to investigate the complexities of broken glitter butterfly ornaments whose wings are irreparable.

As we sit together and play with them, I am reminded that this is what I like most about motherhood. Small moments and a feeling of comradery in the middle of the day when you have no idea it's coming. A time-out from adult cares. It made my day brighter.